Not necessarily the “bibbidi-bobbidi-boo” type of magic, but the kind of magic that’s hard-won, transformative, and essential to our growth as living beings.
We’ve all been there – thrust into an unexpected challenge or struggle. It’s not easy, or comfortable, and sometimes we can’t see how we will get out. We rail against it, “This isn’t fair!” We fight it, “We don’t deserve this!” Eventually, we are exhausted by it. “Please make it stop.” And when we finally give up, something surprising happens – like when you stop looking for your lost keys or glasses and they turn up in your pocket or on the table next to the front door.
We may be tempted to think it’s the universe paying us a favor, or maybe our thoughts are less esoteric and we’re just glad to stop looking for our things (and a little annoyed that they were in such an obvious spot). Regardless, it’s in that moment of surrender when our thoughts are most clear – no longer fighting or strategizing or overthinking – just accepting.
There’s a time and a place for taking on a challenge. There’s also a time for surrender and acceptance. In truth, they often arrive in tandem. Our inner demons collide with force outside ourselves, creating a perfect storm – a crucible if you will – to forge a new way of looking at the world and maybe, just maybe, a better understanding of ourselves.
If we consider the potential lying at the heart of the storm, we cannot help but be changed by our experience. I often tell my sons that change is messy. It’s usually painful, and frustrating and disorienting, and if that’s the way they feel, then they should celebrate, to take it as a sign that they are growing. It’s of little comfort to my kids, but it’s also something I say as a reminder to myself.
Perhaps you’re better at life than me, I have no doubt that you are, but the way it often goes for me is that I feel stuck in the crucible stage – the mixing and churning, throwing in a dash of this and a pinch of that – and it’s not until I feel like I’ve exhausted all my options, tried all the combinations, and feel thoroughly defeated, that I finally look up and realize that I have the option stop, to let go, to accept.
This is when the magic begins. Not necessarily the “bibbidi-bobbidi-boo” type of magic, but the kind of magic that’s hard-won, transformative, and essential to our growth as living beings. I wish I could say that we could access this growth, and become better humans without going through challenges and struggle. But that’s not the life I’ve been privy to. (I’m all ears if you’ve got another way.)
At this point in my life, I expect challenges and struggles to follow me wherever I am. All I can do is hope that I can find that sweet spot between suffering and stretching, surrendering and accepting. It’s a process, right?
Difficult experiences are in our lives for a reason. Instead of trying to fight them, fix them, or ignore them, it might be worth trying to appreciate them, or at the very least, accept them, because it’s in that moment of acceptance that the magic happens. Growth is not guaranteed, but the opportunities for transformation are limitless. It’s just a matter of accepting the challenge.
