I was once an aspiring martyr. I’d pride myself on how often, or how deeply, I’d suffer when doing too much for someone else. I would brag about how I’d show up for people, even when my own life was falling apart around me. In a distorted messed-up way, I thought this was evidence that I was an outstanding friend, worthy of love and appreciation.
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Core Values Aren’t The Answer. They’re The Rudder.
It's easy to adopt a core value like "family" or "animal rights." There's tangible evidence we can point to that shows our dedication. But beneath each of these life choices is a driving belief that propels our actions. This is the first entry in a series called, Difficult People: An Unconventional Blessing. Once a month, I'll share ongoing practices that help me maintain a sense of peace with difficult people. My hope is that you’ll find these posts comforting and useful.
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Releasing Control Is More Powerful Than Maintaining It
I’ll be honest. I struggle to accept the inevitable ebb and flow of life. I crave stability, even if it comes with a faulty understanding of control. I want to feel assured that my creativity, productivity, mood, and relationships will remain constant. But this kind of thinking breeds a false sense of security. This is the first entry in a series called, Difficult People: An Unconventional Blessing. Once a month, I'll share ongoing practices that help me maintain a sense of peace with difficult people. My hope is that you’ll find these posts comforting and useful.